With the remake of the Karate Kid movie about to be released, martial arts clubs are jumping on the bandwagon by touting the martial arts as a cure for bullying. And they should, because, by and large, children and adults benefit immensely from the self-confidence and self-esteem they get from the martial arts. However, as a karate instructor, I find that bullying usually stops before my students have the skill-set to adequately defend themselves. So what is going on?
Karate kids begin to transform, walking tall and displaying that confidence outwardly in posture. Their tone of voice grows commanding and their awareness of their surroundings becomes acute, and they hold their heads high. As well, most clubs have forms or patterns where students perform in front of their peers and gain confidence. And they have freestyle, point sparring where they learn to face an opponent confidently.
Once “karate kids” learn the posture of self-esteem and confidence, bullies often leave them alone. Bullies make that judgment in a split second by how one walks and talks. However, not all kids who are bullied have the time to take a martial art, especially if they are involved in highly competitive sports on club or travelling teams. But it is very easy for them to get the benefit of self-esteem and confidence, without having to pretend to be brave and “put on a happy face.”
Athletes in all sports can learn that same kind of posture in two ways:
1) By modeling or copying the posture of pros or Olympians in their sport or
2) By perceiving themselves as powerful in the face of the bully. It generally takes me two to three hours to help an athlete to stand up to a bully, and I’m talking only mental strategies here, not karate ones. Some examples are:
• The baseball batter facing down the imposing pitcher (or vise visa).
• The hockey player learning to keep his or her head up.
• The football quarterback calmly making the play in the face of a big defensive line.
• The coach dealing with aggressive parents.
• The athlete dealing with an aggressive coach.
As a karate instructor, judging from the pleasure I get from it, the sport is not to be missed. But if your child’s time is committed, the projection of confidence can be applied to any sport, even potentially hard hitting ones like football and hockey. As for the Karate Kid, it is not really karate, but I’ll enjoy it anyways.
When I watch sports, one look at the posture of the players on the bench often tells me whether they are winning—upright posture—or losing—slumped posture. The Game runs their lives instead of the players running The Game. The Game is like a two-year old, throwing tantrums one minute and smiling at you the next. So, how come athletes let this happen? Because they think it is normal.
Well it isn’t normal and we need to control the game by controlling ourselves. We all have clear signals that tell us that we are in the Zone or not. And we can learn these signals and use them to guide us and prevent The Game from taking over.
Try this exercise: Imagine yourself at a busy intersection. The traffic light is red. GO THROUGH! If you are like most people, you feel a sensation that says, “DANGER, STOP, LOOK OUT!” An internal “gut” reaction tells you that it is unsafe. We all get this same kind of feeling in competition. It represents weakness, lack of skill, frustrated thinking, etc., and the game will run us unless we fix it.
Put yourself back at the traffic light. Now it turns green. GO THROUGH! You probably feel an entirely different sensation, one that says, “THIS IS OKAY.” You relax and feel at ease. This is our Zone feeling and it represents strength, skillfulness and clarity of thinking. We need this feeling at the start of our game—all game—and we need to get it back when we lose it, no matter what the score.
I worked with a high school volleyball team, and shortly after our workshop an opposing coach videotaped them in a tournament. The reason—she could not tell by their behavior whether they had lost or won a point. She wanted to use them as an example for her team as to how to stay in the Zone throughout the game—every volley.
Many athletes and teams expect that they can get this kind of Zone by building a winning score or healthy lead. Wrong. If you wait for it to happen, The Game will run you. And when it does, look out, it’ll be some kind of tantrum. Instead, learn your Zone signal, and you’ll be the one in charge.
We explode the myths and misconceptions of mental training and revolutionize how athletes, coaches and teams empower themselves, inspire others, and develop elite skills.
